Sara Edmonson's Blog

Not just another American living in Italy (and not the criminal!)

How to win the heart of an Italian man

with 4 comments

Two handsome (unavailable ...sorry ladies) Italian specimen


As promised, this post is dedicated to the ever-intriguing subject of “How to win the heart of an Italian man”. I would like to take a moment to point out that this blog is not “How to win the attention of an Italian man” which would be a whole other post entirely and to be quite frank, the answer is so obvious that it isn’t worth writing about.  

I have tried to summarize my viewpoint in 3 easy steps (sounds like a recipe!) and believe it or not it does not include being super sexy or a good cook. Here goes…  

1)       Look good. OK, OK; I know this sounds silly, but let me explain.  Italians are known for their style but it is not necessarily important to be drop dead gorgeous but rather well groomed, clean, and classic. Italian men prefer elegance to flamboyancy. There must be something in her mannerisms as well, grace in her speech and her movements.  Italian men have an acute sense of how a woman holds herself and the way she walks.  

2)      Be independent but not aggressive. At the end of the day, the Italian culture is male dominant. Some may say that this is also true in the United States, but I can assure you that in Italy, the central role of men in business, politics and home life is much more extreme (no equal opportunity or diversity campaigns here!). Therefore in Italian society, woman must be cautious in exerting a “go get ‘em” or no- nonsense approach as Italian men appreciate independence but never under no circumstances do they like dominance! They find aggressive behavior to be threatening and distasteful.  

3)      Give motherly affection. Italian men love to be “snuggled” by their partner. Italian men need the same amount and type of affection as if they were a child. They want someone to be looking out for them and their well-being, for example the first question an Italian wife asks her husband (or child for that matter) when they walk through the door is “What did you eat for lunch honey?”! This question is asked so that the wife knows what essential foods (meat, pasta, vegetables, etc.) the husband has not eaten that day and she will be sure to serve them for dinner. Also, when an Italian man is sick he has no shame in behaving like a 10 year old. A stout love requires a woman to treat him like he was on his deathbed.  

But at the end of the day, if there is one piece of advice it would be … adapt, adapt, adapt.  Italian men will love the international flare in the beginning but towards the middle they will be looking desperately for the qualities of their mother!  

Disclaimer: This blog may contain generalizations and does not accurately represent the entire Italian male society. There are always exceptions to the rule. This particular post represents my own personal experience as well as the kind collaboration of my work colleagues, which I formally thank.  

My next post will be on “Roman traffic – a Boondocks analogy!” The subscribe button is just to the right of this post 🙂


Written by saraedmonson

February 22, 2010 at 11:22 am

Posted in Italian Life

4 Responses

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  1. Given the above, I would swear that my husband is at least “part” Italian!

    Jan Charron

    February 22, 2010 at 1:34 pm

  2. You left off the most important step!

    4. Make friends with the mother and don’t forget that means Sunday lunch EVERY week 😉


    February 23, 2010 at 4:19 am

  3. Now i realize how you got mine…mum


    February 23, 2010 at 11:23 pm

  4. What a dream, the American beauty and the Italian man! Worth having lunch with his mother! GREAT LOOKING COUPLE, Frank and Sara!!!!!


    March 2, 2010 at 12:56 am

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